2 June 2008


“I have nothing in common with this new world of fashion, which has been reduced to mere window-dressing. Elegance and beauty have been banished.”
—Yves Saint Laurent, (August 1, 1936 – June 1, 2008)

30 May 2008

C'est Insupportable!

There are many reasons to love Paris Metro. Its twisting, twirling iron entrances by architect (and fellow Pisces) Hector Guimard make you feel as though you are descending through a portal into a fairy underworld, inexplicably located in the middle of an urban footpath. These entrances are among the most iconic images of Belle Epoque art ever produced and have served as symbols not just of Paris' perennial beauty and elegance, but of its ability to harmoniously couple aesthetics with industry and modernity, as represented by the use of cutting edge (at the time) materials such as cast iron:

But anyone who does think that Paris Metro is an artistic fairyland is in for a shock when they see this ugly and retrograde little number plastered all over the underground's insides:

(Whilst he watches the football...[Here are some wonderful vacuums you women folk could be making yourselves useful with!])

To say that this advert, made by a company called Rue du Commerce for the Euro 2008 (please feel free to spam them maliciously) is offensive/pathetic/stupid/insulting to women isn't enough. The ugliness of its sentiments insults Paris itself by marring one of the city's cultural gems with such trash. As zee Joli Kiwi says "Classe les gares!"
Needless to say, what this "advert" implies about men is pretty despicable too.

29 May 2008

How To Be Gorgeous

Just in case any of you were still wondering how I do it:

25 May 2008

Holy Crap! I like Irregular Choice!

Shoes by Irregular Choice are often, shall we say, unique:

So, it came as a shock to me to discover a pair of shoes from Irregular that are not just wearable but positively covetable!

Aren't they just great? Aren't they just different without being, ugh, "zany"? I love them - I now realise what it was I was always missing in my life: a pair of shoes that look like they're made out of Jack White's post-it notes. Glorious.

Topshop vs Balenciaga - I Know Which One I'd Prefer

Well, it's a testament to the power of the Arcadia Group that there hasn't even been the slightest breath of a plagiarism suit over some of Topshop's Balenciaga rip-offs inspired pieces.

Btw, if you were to go and buy the actual Balenciaga jacket over at Browns Fashion it would cost you around £2500. The Topshop copycat is £65

Oh well, all the better for me and my wallet.

22 May 2008

Holy Crap, I like Marks & Spencers

I'm as surprised as you are chickadees, but I recently bought several very gorgeous and quite different items all from Marks & Spencers, not the least of which was this nifty little petticoat skirt:

Don't even get me started about how good (and cheap!) their shoes have been lately. Any wonder profits are up.

I'm planning on wearing the skirt with a tight little ribbed navy cardigan I picked up at Topshop a while back. I'm going for an overall Fifties effect, but with a modern feel, a bit like the lovely Chuck from Pushing Daisies whose adorable retro-style I have fallen in love with recently:

Ignore the sinister man in the doorway - isn't she just pure sunshine? Aww...You'd never guess that Anna Friel used to be famous for being a lesbian on a now defunct British Soap
Aww...*so cute*

Katy Perry is Curious For You

Well, we've all been there.

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

Update: Well, stinking YouTube pulled the video, so here's another one - ha!

21 May 2008

My Version of Events

So I hear rumours that Mark Ronson and Daisy Lowe's new found love is already beginning to fade:

A little messgae to my darling Mark: it's OK. You broke my heart when you ran off with that friend of Wotsit Geldof, the underwear model or whatever the hell it is she is, but don't worry; when the nightmare ends you can still wake up next to me.

Call me

x Dizzy


Look at these stupid, bloody shoes:

They're made by a company called Creatures of Comfort and cost $115: dear God, these shoes give me rage.

I've always thought there was something weird and OCD about the trend for decorating items by labeling them - like mugs that say "MUG" or coffee jars that say "COFFEE". Can you imagine what the house of somebody who took this trend to its logical conclusion would be like? All the walls would be covered with a giant Helvetica Bold print of the word "WALL", but then they'd have to also be covered with the "PAINT" over and over in the background. This would be a person that would put on their make up with a felt tip writing in "EYE", "EYE", "MOUTH - PLEASE DO NOT OPEN" and, of course, every single item of clothing in their "WARDROBE" would all have to be labeled with the words "LAME", "PRETENTIOUS", "A GOOD REASON TO ASSUME BAD THINGS ABOUT ME".

20 May 2008

Urban Outfitter's Urban Dictionary, def: annoying

This is what you will see on the main page of Urban Outfitters UK today. It's to promote their "vintage" line.

Did you know that in my dictionary "Vintage" is a synonym for "Old Rope"?

New Kate Moss for Topshop: My Picks!


That's it.

And even then, I only like it from the back.

18 April 2008

Oh! The Joy of "Inbox (1)"

Now playing: Cansei De Ser Sexy - Fuckoff Is Not The Only Thing You Have To Show
via FoxyTunes

Oh Lordy, I am lonely. Not just bored. If i were just bored I would have been able to solve the problem with a book, or a DVD, or a cat (they're fun to chase), but this is something more. This is a craving for another soul, for another face, a desire to exercise my powerful tongue muscle with chit-chat, gossip and friendly raillery. But alas, alone here in my little blue room I have only my MacBook, my magic mirror to the outside world, with which to assuage my pining. Oh Mackie, aesthetically pleasing though you are, and alarmingly overheated though your battery certainly is, I doubt even you could warm my doleful heart.

But let's give it a whirl anyway *click*

Hmm, how about logging on to Facebook. Mayhaps I have new notifications waiting for me - caring messages of love from absent friends. What's this? TWO new notifications? Oh this is more than I'd ever even dared to dream!


  • |You have been superpoked! Click here to throw a cow! [Hmm...I wonder if being "superpoked" would be more or less annoying real life...I must test that one out sometime.
  • Your friend As*h*le has taken a past life quiz. Click here to find out who you were in a past life! [Amazingly, even in this life I have better things to do. Like picking at the skin around my toenails.]

Well, that was disappointing, but perhaps when I check back later there'll be something a little better.

I know, I'll go look in on my Bebo page. To be honest, I'm always a little surprised that Bebo still exists; since changing to Facebook, I've come to see Bebo as more and more like a beta version of the former, just as when I switched from Myspace to Bebo I came to see its predecessor as an abusive pimp flawed. Yet behold, the domain is still there. My profile is still there. My message wall and inbox are both still there. And both are still empty. Oh dear.

Let's try LiveJournal. I only have one contact on LiveJournal. It's not really a networking site I use much. I'm a little frightened of it actually. It's users and bloggers seem so immersed in the LiveJournal experience, so comfortably enmeshed in webs of referencing, cross-referencing, and self-referencing that I can't be arsed even attempting to penetrate the LiveJournal thicket, even if there is an enchanted forest of interesting and exciting blogs at the centre. However, friend of mine is a brave and happy LiveJournal user and perhaps she herself has sent me a message. A little note, a little something something that I can hold up as proof of being a person, a person that other persons are aware of; interested in, even.
Helas, all the messages I ever received on LiveJournal (both of them) have long since been read. I decide to re-read the most recent one (three days ago). Perhaps I didn't actually reply? I know I wrote out something, something quite long in fact, but perhaps I closed the window without actually sending the message? Should I send another one? Ah! But just imagine how terrible you'd feel if you didn't get a reply to that one either. I'm torn!

And to think, I still haven't even looked at my emails!

Damn this lonesome nightmare! I'm going e-shopping!

15 April 2008

The First Post! Or - 9:30 AM. What do people do at 9.30 AM?

Now playing: Antonio Vivaldi - Gloria In D: VIII Domine Deus, Agnus Dei
via FoxyTunes

Well, if they don't go to work or school or watch cartoons or sleep or masturbate, then evidently, they blog (though really, is there that much difference between those last two?).

Anyways, as this is the first post (1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) it's probably as good a time as any, indeed, a better time than any, to straighten out exactly what this blog is supposed to be about. Given its subtitle you may well have mis-interpreted this site as the web diary of some monstrous, laboratory produced conglomeration of sentient flesh, or Kim Kardashian, as she is known. Well, you'd be wrong, as said web diary is actually that of a recent female graduate (this girl right here) and her sad, depressing, horrifying, vilifying, stupefying, death-defying failure first to find a job, and then even to find the will to continue looking.

Rapidly losing her looks, her figure and her youth to the forces of inertia, the graduate girl's once sharp mind atrophies into a pale, mirthless mush, exerting its sleepy grey cells only so far as the task of cruising ebay or watching comedy YouTube videos demands. How much of her life has been given over to the archives of those damn Lolcats doesn't even bear thinking about. I can has my soul back? ZOMG lol!

And so, this blog is intended to chronicle the non-events of this strange, yet not uncommon, situation of a life in limbo. And to give the poor creature something to do.