18 April 2008

Oh! The Joy of "Inbox (1)"

Now playing: Cansei De Ser Sexy - Fuckoff Is Not The Only Thing You Have To Show
via FoxyTunes

Oh Lordy, I am lonely. Not just bored. If i were just bored I would have been able to solve the problem with a book, or a DVD, or a cat (they're fun to chase), but this is something more. This is a craving for another soul, for another face, a desire to exercise my powerful tongue muscle with chit-chat, gossip and friendly raillery. But alas, alone here in my little blue room I have only my MacBook, my magic mirror to the outside world, with which to assuage my pining. Oh Mackie, aesthetically pleasing though you are, and alarmingly overheated though your battery certainly is, I doubt even you could warm my doleful heart.

But let's give it a whirl anyway *click*

Hmm, how about logging on to Facebook. Mayhaps I have new notifications waiting for me - caring messages of love from absent friends. What's this? TWO new notifications? Oh this is more than I'd ever even dared to dream!


  • |You have been superpoked! Click here to throw a cow! [Hmm...I wonder if being "superpoked" would be more or less annoying real life...I must test that one out sometime.
  • Your friend As*h*le has taken a past life quiz. Click here to find out who you were in a past life! [Amazingly, even in this life I have better things to do. Like picking at the skin around my toenails.]

Well, that was disappointing, but perhaps when I check back later there'll be something a little better.

I know, I'll go look in on my Bebo page. To be honest, I'm always a little surprised that Bebo still exists; since changing to Facebook, I've come to see Bebo as more and more like a beta version of the former, just as when I switched from Myspace to Bebo I came to see its predecessor as an abusive pimp flawed. Yet behold, the domain is still there. My profile is still there. My message wall and inbox are both still there. And both are still empty. Oh dear.

Let's try LiveJournal. I only have one contact on LiveJournal. It's not really a networking site I use much. I'm a little frightened of it actually. It's users and bloggers seem so immersed in the LiveJournal experience, so comfortably enmeshed in webs of referencing, cross-referencing, and self-referencing that I can't be arsed even attempting to penetrate the LiveJournal thicket, even if there is an enchanted forest of interesting and exciting blogs at the centre. However, friend of mine is a brave and happy LiveJournal user and perhaps she herself has sent me a message. A little note, a little something something that I can hold up as proof of being a person, a person that other persons are aware of; interested in, even.
Helas, all the messages I ever received on LiveJournal (both of them) have long since been read. I decide to re-read the most recent one (three days ago). Perhaps I didn't actually reply? I know I wrote out something, something quite long in fact, but perhaps I closed the window without actually sending the message? Should I send another one? Ah! But just imagine how terrible you'd feel if you didn't get a reply to that one either. I'm torn!

And to think, I still haven't even looked at my emails!

Damn this lonesome nightmare! I'm going e-shopping!

15 April 2008

The First Post! Or - 9:30 AM. What do people do at 9.30 AM?

Now playing: Antonio Vivaldi - Gloria In D: VIII Domine Deus, Agnus Dei
via FoxyTunes

Well, if they don't go to work or school or watch cartoons or sleep or masturbate, then evidently, they blog (though really, is there that much difference between those last two?).

Anyways, as this is the first post (1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) it's probably as good a time as any, indeed, a better time than any, to straighten out exactly what this blog is supposed to be about. Given its subtitle you may well have mis-interpreted this site as the web diary of some monstrous, laboratory produced conglomeration of sentient flesh, or Kim Kardashian, as she is known. Well, you'd be wrong, as said web diary is actually that of a recent female graduate (this girl right here) and her sad, depressing, horrifying, vilifying, stupefying, death-defying failure first to find a job, and then even to find the will to continue looking.

Rapidly losing her looks, her figure and her youth to the forces of inertia, the graduate girl's once sharp mind atrophies into a pale, mirthless mush, exerting its sleepy grey cells only so far as the task of cruising ebay or watching comedy YouTube videos demands. How much of her life has been given over to the archives of those damn Lolcats doesn't even bear thinking about. I can has my soul back? ZOMG lol!

And so, this blog is intended to chronicle the non-events of this strange, yet not uncommon, situation of a life in limbo. And to give the poor creature something to do.